Hello peeps, Im back to update you about my week. I
have been really down the whole week for a reason I’m not even aware of. It’s
just the overall mood. However, there are also several or maybe one or two
happy things that I accomplished.
So to start off, the good things first of course. It’s
not so big of a deal but I managed to accomplish my first online transaction
which means I actually sold something. LOL. It’s actually my old books that I
wanted to get rid of eagerly. Luckily enough, there were many hungry predators
out there which wanted the meat too. The downside, I did offer quite a low
price to start with. Well, now that the stuffs are gone, I’m just glad and the
thought of making some loss totally disappeared.
Next up, what’s different. I just feel that this new
beginning is supremely different or maybe it’s just how I feel at every
beginning. I can feel a whole lot of stuff coming in the future awaiting for me
to solve. It’s like a bag or maybe a whole carton of stress sitting there and
just waiving at me. To say that I can’t handle it would be a total crap since I
did manage to get through the toughest time before. Well, maybe I’ll get
through this one as well. LOL.
My friends who are super lazy freaks are totally
skipping class as they’re still back at their hometown. Not sure why was I
attending class so early either, its literally tiring and a waste of time I
suppose. The bright side, you get an introductory session and get to know
everyone which you will never speak to till the end of time. So, what was the
point in the first place again? LOL.
Feeling superbly lonely even when I’m surrounded by
friends. I mean I just feel so alone and I don’t like the feeling, it sucks. Not
to say they ditched me or anything, just that, do you know that feeling, the
feeling of loneliness, the empty, lost feeling that leads you nowhere and no
matter how many things you’ve done you still feel that empty. I just don’t know
what to do with it. Ever since I got my results, I was like WTH. I kinda hate myself.
The only thing I had to do was to study and I can’t even do it correctly. I’m
not even working while studying while those who worked scored much better. Seriously?
You know the feeling of having no goal in life and you’re just going along the
way day by day just passing by, I guess that’s what I’m going through.
Pointless.
Barely survived the first few days, but with the
budget me and the successful transaction, walla, it’s the end of the week and I’m
getting my cash of the month. I guess everyone has their own hardship, its just
that you don’t go around telling everyone right? I’ve actually trained myself
to control my self-expression much to not show stuffs I’m trying to hide such as not splatting all these on my facebook wall. As
much as sharing would help alleviate a lot, the aftermaths is just quite
unbearable. Since there’s nothing people can literally do, they can only
listen. But then it continues to haunt you because people just see you that way,
forever, or is it just me that feels that way?
Not to say my life sucks that much, just that I kinda
noticed that I grew up with people who are somehow better off. Let’s just say
as kids, they have better toys, they get things they want, or they get more
attention and love. I’ve been trying so hard to fulfill my wants, of course,
within my own terms and that does not happen very often, maybe once a year or
so. I know everyone has their own definition of royalty, but I guess mine isn’t
too much to ask. Let’s just say I usually don’t get what I want, just like what
an average American teen would say but maybe not those unreasonable wants.
Before I bore you too much, lets just skip the topic.
I’m kinda attracted to this recent blackberry. It got my attention in a Korean drama
called Dream High 2. After doing some research, it is definitely the most
stylish and sleek blackberry ever. However, compared to iphone and Samsung, it
does lack quite a bit behind based on functionality and price. It’s the Blackberry
Bold 9900. Isn’t it just awesome?
Nah…. I’ve checked. Even with the digi package, the
phone will still cause me 1300++. I mean OMG. It’s gonna be a total impossible
for me to get it. Cause, recently my mum lost her phone then she took my sis’
phone and now she’s stuck with a laoya phone, so I thought I could work and get
myself a phone. It’s definitely asking for too much if I ask my sis to pay for
it. Or maybe should I just get a cheaper one instead?
This is why I say, why on earth the people beside me can just get something
with a flick of a finger and I plan from day 1 of the year till the end of the
year still, I don’t have it. I did thought of working while studying or maybe
do some business online like what all typical students do, but how to start? Maybe,
I’m just not trying hard enough.
There’s this other wish I had which I know in my heart
is totally out of my mind. Would it be possible for me to have a car? LOL. I don’t
even have a license in the first place. Sigh, it’s just so troublesome having
to ask for help every time when others can totally count on themselves. The gruesome,
useless, pathetic feeling inside? Anyways, I’ll count this out since it’s
considered unnecessary and so overboard and my sis din have a car back when she
was studying too. So what I was trying to say, kids today are just too pampered/lucky
I supposed. I guess I’ll just stick to chasing after my phone. Hahahaha……..
I was also planning on changing my face regime since
face is such an important factor in the working world. Everyone on earth can
only remember the first impression, materialistic much. Sad to say, it’s a fact
that I can’t deny. I have acne prone skin from the days of which we were still
wearing white coloured shirts and green coloured pants. Tried very hard to get
rid of it but still, the scars haunt me. I recently visited the famous facial
skin care blog for men www.scform.com and
kinda formulated my own skin care regime. With a tight budget and trying to
find substitutes for the products mentioned, I finally found some. This blog is
a total awesome thing, they provide so much information that you would definitely
want to know. There’s this product called Paula Choice 2% BHA Liquid is said to
be the best in its category and a must in everyone’s skin care regime. Guess
how much it costs? RM90 and that doesn’t include the delivery charges which
adds it up to more than RM100. I’m like how on earth am I gonna budget that
much out. What I learnt was, you can never go cheap on your face, if only I had
SK2, maybe my nightmares would end before they even begin.
So I was wondering should I get Eucerin White Night Solution or Bio Essence Tanaka White Night Cream? the blog suggested Avene Diacneal but from my research its actually super expensive but good for skin renewal. Sigh....
Am so tired like I did a lot of stuff but did not
really do much. Crazy eh. All we know that life's always tough and hard like rock, but give it some slack and time, shower it with love and care and some day maybe it'll turn into gold, Who knows?
Doughing off for now…. XOXO, Sunny Dough. =)